Advice on dating a recently separated man
LRT, I'm newly separated (2 1/2 months) and I have been talking to another woman lately, merely for conversation since I don't have that kind of relationship anymore.
Anyway, recently she started asking me to come over or go out for a drink or something but the tone seems more like she wants more than that, and she has hinted at that as well. At first it was kind of nice just to have someone to confide in a little, now it's like I'm being pressured into some kind of relationship I don't even want.
I have known this guy for years and he means the world to me, I don't want to do anything to scare him off.
It's safe to assume that most people can present themselves in a way that looks normal on Tinder. We then went out with friends, which was followed by beer and then going home. Me: slogging forward while missing my life in Oregon. He also loved making plans that he had no intention of following through on. Maybe it was the night that he texted me, "Home with the ex and baby tonight. It was the way I wondered if they were sharing a bed.
It's easy to whip up a few seemingly innocuous lines, slap your most flattering photos up there and swipe away. We spent hours in bed, talking, hooking up, and breaking for more conversation. He was perfectly imperfect, perfect in his imperfections. Him: trying to navigate how to co-parent while figuring out I discovered that he loved his son most of all. In that twisted way, I started to fall for him, despite everything I knew about him. I wanted to move forward without being hung up on my last relationship. I expected it to be easy, and I wanted him to help me get over my ex. Side chick status until tomorrow." Maybe it was the way we crossed into territory when he said they weren't sleeping together anymore (although he was spending some nights at the house.) Maybe it was when I blushed at the thought of him. Maybe it was the way he was with his son that made me love him. It was the way I knew he was lying to me about how their relationship really was, because we all know that things are more complicated than they appear.
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If you come across as a normal human being and not an over-sexualized creep during the first conversation, well, then you are already ahead of the curve. I knew that I was willingly making myself into a sidepiece. I knew better than to sleep with him, but I did it anyway– until I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to find someone that felt good to be around.